woofdad: i'll be alive then (i'm dead come back tomorrow)
Grant Abaroa ([personal profile] woofdad) wrote 2021-08-03 04:05 am (UTC)

Got it - if possible I'll stick to just letting him know there have been problems continuing to pop up.

Oh, I absolutely get you. To this day, I get nervous if I feel like there's a CHANCE someone might TRY to provoke me; you just get so wired to be ready for those situations to get really messy, and it's just... exhausting. And you're totally right, even though I doubt nobody here thinks that way, it just... sucks so much to hear. It almost makes it worse in some ways, at least for me - it ends up feeling inescapable, and I'm not even the one on the receiving end of that treatment.

Yeah, that can just be between us - though. I'm halfway tempted to explain my own situation to Shiro here if necessary? Knowing him I feel like there's a good chance it won't BE necessary, but... I don't know, part of me just really wants him to fully understand where I'm coming from here, why this all hits so hard.


[It might be the gay part.]

Christ, right - I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this now.

Ugh, yeah; I hate having that crap VALIDATED, you know? The last thing I need is more ammo for the worst parts of my psyche to use to tell me I need to keep reacting that way to stress. I'm sure you can imagine, this kind of reaction is why I ended up wiring myself to respond passively to begin with, and I really hate it sometimes.

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