[It takes a while for Steven's reply to come, the reasons which will be pretty obvious once Grant reads it.]
Yeah. You were, well, clearly disassociating. I'm not surprised your memories of what happened are fuzzy.
Normally this is when I'd link the staryutube video, but I don't want to trigger you again. So. It went like this:
LANCE: [makes a bullshit orgy comment] YOU: [stunned denial of orgy] THACE: "That joke is in very poor taste--" [notices you shutting down, snarls reflexively] "Let me be very clear. I would never expect anything sexual or romantic in a situation where money is involved, even in such a way as this where everyone agreed to be 'auctioned.' The implied power imbalance is vile." ME: [menacingly to Lance] "If you truly believe that Shiro will be forcibly screwed by the winner, one wonders why *you've* been betting so fiercely. You do realize you could just proposition him, rather than dubiously attempt to purchase his sexual favors from a charity auction—or are you worried you'll be turned down?" SHIRO: [completely done with everything] “100,000 and we end this right now. I’ll pay it myself and we can all stop threatening Lance.” THACE: [wincing] "My apologies, Shiro. My only intent was to offer a quiet evening among friends, which is still on offer, auction or not, if you want it." [glares at Lance] "You should apologize as well. To Shiro especially." JASKIER: "*LANCE*! Bloody hell." SHIRO: [says something privately to Jaskier, then to everyone else,] “Lance doesn’t bother me at this point. I think I’m done though. For real.” ME: [wincing] "I'm sorry, Shiro. I suppose I wanted Lance to see how it felt to have someone publicly accuse him of having the worst, most sordid motives for his actions... and I didn't think of how much it would hurt you. I understand if you don't want to talk with or see any of us for a while, though." LANCE: "Why's everybody getting mad at me?! You're the ones who kept adding people! This thing is for a date date, not monopoly. Don't get salty because I'm taking trying to get someone to drag Shiro out of his closet bedroom for once in the last two years seriously. And I'm a married man. Shiro couldn't have me even if he wanted. No offense, bro, but Pidge, man." ME: [rolling my eyes] "Oh please. As if I'd ever propose we play something so plebeian. It would have been Settlers of the Catan Region at the very least. That said, I do have some advice for you, Lance. You should know that implying that men like the four of us are only driven by sexual motives is incredibly offensive for any number of reason--and whether or not you meant it that way, that's how it came off as. *Think* before you say these things." THACE: [taking deep breaths] "Firstly, had you considered whether or not Shiro wanted a romantic date? He had no objections to my offer of a quiet dinner and games. Perhaps that's why he allowed himself to be auctioned, rather than romance." [momentary pause] "Which is not required to get out among people in the first place, for one. I can't claim to know his mind, but perhaps this was his attempt at getting out on his own. I regret that it ended the way it did, but I don't regret scolding you about your words."
At which point Jaskier moved onto the next date. Some other things were said privately to people, I think, but that's what ended up on the video.
And yeah, something else sure as fucking happened. Lance's *wife* messaged me and threatened to castrate me if I threaten her husband again. The ensuing discussion has not gone well. Give me a sec and I'll cap it for you.
[He does, up to the part where he tells Pidge that if he'd threatened Lance, she would know.]
I, ah, may have invoked you shutting down as a reason I said what I did. Which is more or less true. If you hadn't, I'd have skipped the public humiliation and gone straight to the scolding, but at that moment, I was trying to focus people's attention on myself.
That said, I probably shouldn't have told Lance's wife about your disassociating without asking you first and I'm sorry about that.
no subject
Yeah. You were, well, clearly disassociating. I'm not surprised your memories of what happened are fuzzy.
Normally this is when I'd link the staryutube video, but I don't want to trigger you again. So. It went like this:
LANCE: [makes a bullshit orgy comment]
YOU: [stunned denial of orgy]
THACE: "That joke is in very poor taste--" [notices you shutting down, snarls reflexively] "Let me be very clear. I would never expect anything sexual or romantic in a situation where money is involved, even in such a way as this where everyone agreed to be 'auctioned.' The implied power imbalance is vile."
ME: [menacingly to Lance] "If you truly believe that Shiro will be forcibly screwed by the winner, one wonders why *you've* been betting so fiercely. You do realize you could just proposition him, rather than dubiously attempt to purchase his sexual favors from a charity auction—or are you worried you'll be turned down?"
SHIRO: [completely done with everything] “100,000 and we end this right now. I’ll pay it myself and we can all stop threatening Lance.”
THACE: [wincing] "My apologies, Shiro. My only intent was to offer a quiet evening among friends, which is still on offer, auction or not, if you want it." [glares at Lance] "You should apologize as well. To Shiro especially."
JASKIER: "*LANCE*! Bloody hell."
SHIRO: [says something privately to Jaskier, then to everyone else,] “Lance doesn’t bother me at this point. I think I’m done though. For real.”
ME: [wincing] "I'm sorry, Shiro. I suppose I wanted Lance to see how it felt to have someone publicly accuse him of having the worst, most sordid motives for his actions... and I didn't think of how much it would hurt you. I understand if you don't want to talk with or see any of us for a while, though."
LANCE: "Why's everybody getting mad at me?! You're the ones who kept adding people! This thing is for a date date, not monopoly. Don't get salty because I'm taking trying to get someone to drag Shiro out of his closet bedroom for once in the last two years seriously. And I'm a married man. Shiro couldn't have me even if he wanted. No offense, bro, but Pidge, man."
ME: [rolling my eyes] "Oh please. As if I'd ever propose we play something so plebeian. It would have been Settlers of the Catan Region at the very least. That said, I do have some advice for you, Lance. You should know that implying that men like the four of us are only driven by sexual motives is incredibly offensive for any number of reason--and whether or not you meant it that way, that's how it came off as. *Think* before you say these things."
THACE: [taking deep breaths] "Firstly, had you considered whether or not Shiro wanted a romantic date? He had no objections to my offer of a quiet dinner and games. Perhaps that's why he allowed himself to be auctioned, rather than romance." [momentary pause] "Which is not required to get out among people in the first place, for one. I can't claim to know his mind, but perhaps this was his attempt at getting out on his own. I regret that it ended the way it did, but I don't regret scolding you about your words."
At which point Jaskier moved onto the next date. Some other things were said privately to people, I think, but that's what ended up on the video.
And yeah, something else sure as fucking happened. Lance's *wife* messaged me and threatened to castrate me if I threaten her husband again. The ensuing discussion has not gone well. Give me a sec and I'll cap it for you.
[He does, up to the part where he tells Pidge that if he'd threatened Lance, she would know.]
I, ah, may have invoked you shutting down as a reason I said what I did. Which is more or less true. If you hadn't, I'd have skipped the public humiliation and gone straight to the scolding, but at that moment, I was trying to focus people's attention on myself.
That said, I probably shouldn't have told Lance's wife about your disassociating without asking you first and I'm sorry about that.