[So part of the difficulty here is that Grant is discovering - or, perhaps, given his prior knowledge of how he responds to this kind of thing, confirming - that he... doesn't remember very much of of what happened at the auction. He remembers what Lance said, remembers Steven and Thace reacting, remembers talking briefly to Thace immediately afterward and then to Shiro over text a while later.
He does not remember very much of the... details of anything between Lance's outburst and his conversation with Shiro. So now he's got to ask:]
For sure, if... sorry, this is kind of weird, but if you can tell me what you're apologizing for? I'll admit, my memory of a lot of it is kind of fuzzy, but I don't remember any reason you'd have to apologize to me.
I'm not sure if you were having a moment of panic, or your mind was withdrawing, or both. Steven had a word for it that I don't remember at the moment. I'm so sorry that your memories were affected. I can only imagine that making things more distressing in the aftermath.
And I fear my reaction to Lance's comment and your distress only distressed you further. I am not human. My species has different reactions to stress and I snarled and bared my teeth at Lance. I have worked to control such reactions for a very long time, because I don't want to distress or frighten other species, especially since so many have been hurt by members of my own species. And I'm learning as a result of this that humans are very threatened by the gesture.
In light of that, I'm apologizing. My control slipped, and I am truly sorry for that. Is there any way I can make amends?
Ah, yeah. Disassociation. Can't... say I'm a big fan of it, but it's got its purpose, I guess.
[And then... he stops, and re-reads that. He almost has to laugh. He doesn't, but almost.]
Oh my god, Thace, I'm so sorry that's been bothering you - you don't have to apologize to me for that. For one thing, in all honesty, I barely noticed. For another
[Might as well explain that now... he suspects, from all he knows, that Thace will be pretty understanding.]
I'm... I guess you could say a different type of human from most humans here? Snarling isn't really that new or alarming to me, I promise.
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3-4ish? days after the auction
no subject
He does not remember very much of the... details of anything between Lance's outburst and his conversation with Shiro. So now he's got to ask:]
For sure, if... sorry, this is kind of weird, but if you can tell me what you're apologizing for? I'll admit, my memory of a lot of it is kind of fuzzy, but I don't remember any reason you'd have to apologize to me.
no subject
And I fear my reaction to Lance's comment and your distress only distressed you further. I am not human. My species has different reactions to stress and I snarled and bared my teeth at Lance. I have worked to control such reactions for a very long time, because I don't want to distress or frighten other species, especially since so many have been hurt by members of my own species. And I'm learning as a result of this that humans are very threatened by the gesture.
In light of that, I'm apologizing. My control slipped, and I am truly sorry for that. Is there any way I can make amends?
no subject
[And then... he stops, and re-reads that. He almost has to laugh. He doesn't, but almost.]
Oh my god, Thace, I'm so sorry that's been bothering you - you don't have to apologize to me for that. For one thing, in all honesty, I barely noticed. For another
[Might as well explain that now... he suspects, from all he knows, that Thace will be pretty understanding.]
I'm... I guess you could say a different type of human from most humans here? Snarling isn't really that new or alarming to me, I promise.