Entry tags:
[victory road] IC CONTACT
[For private communication, Pokegear or otherwise!]
Alright. I'm just trying to figure out how to make this work.
[He can't claim to love that particular reaction, when he was just trying to figure out how to work around Felix's distaste for these talks... but at least, at this point, it doesn't have him immediately shrinking away. He just... gives his response and moves on.]
...I don't know. I guess I'm personally inclined to think of it as... different kinds of time and effort? But, put that way, I can see where you'd be put off.
[He can't claim to love that particular reaction, when he was just trying to figure out how to work around Felix's distaste for these talks... but at least, at this point, it doesn't have him immediately shrinking away. He just... gives his response and moves on.]
...I don't know. I guess I'm personally inclined to think of it as... different kinds of time and effort? But, put that way, I can see where you'd be put off.
[Felix--well, ten minutes ago he would have said he didn't understand why Grant was doing all this, going out of his way to ask these questions and figure out how to solve something Felix didn't even assume could or should be solved. He supposes now he does understand, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept feeling like they all think he's incapable of handling his own relationships or feelings. As much as he dislikes feeling like the odd one out all the time, it was easier when they simply left him to deal with his own irrational, selfish emotions by himself, like he always has. If he couldn't or didn't want to love or give or feel the way they can, the way they wanted him to, he could at least keep his whining about it to himself.]
And even if that wasn't insulting, practically speaking, there is no way for him to do it without sacrificing time he would have spent with us. Experiences he would have had with us, he will now have with five other people, or...whatever.
[Listen, he can't be expected to keep track of how many people Dimitri's in love with on any given day.]
It's a declaration of intent, Grant, even if he doesn't see it that way. An intent to take something important that we created for ourselves and...and spread it around to other people who weren't there. Sometimes it seems like he'd do it for anyone who expressed any interest at all, simply because they did, out of some...some altruistic desire not to disappoint them. And I never agreed to share it with anyone else. But when he, or Claude, asks if I mind them doing it, they want and expect me to say no, so what's the point of asking?
[It's a lot of words for Felix all at once, but Grant has managed to push past his reluctance to where his frustrations and feelings live, and now they're spilling out.]
And even if that wasn't insulting, practically speaking, there is no way for him to do it without sacrificing time he would have spent with us. Experiences he would have had with us, he will now have with five other people, or...whatever.
[Listen, he can't be expected to keep track of how many people Dimitri's in love with on any given day.]
It's a declaration of intent, Grant, even if he doesn't see it that way. An intent to take something important that we created for ourselves and...and spread it around to other people who weren't there. Sometimes it seems like he'd do it for anyone who expressed any interest at all, simply because they did, out of some...some altruistic desire not to disappoint them. And I never agreed to share it with anyone else. But when he, or Claude, asks if I mind them doing it, they want and expect me to say no, so what's the point of asking?
[It's a lot of words for Felix all at once, but Grant has managed to push past his reluctance to where his frustrations and feelings live, and now they're spilling out.]
Oh, you're fine - I am here right now, actually! I'll meet you in the living room, just a sec.
[Sure enough, there's a the click-and-creak of a door opening, and Grant heads to the living room... carrying one of his several Woopers in one arm.] Hey! Sorry, he, uh... did not want to let me leave.
[Sometimes, if your pet has you trapped, all you can do is take it with you.]
So, uh-- where did you wanna start, as far as talking books?
[Sure enough, there's a the click-and-creak of a door opening, and Grant heads to the living room... carrying one of his several Woopers in one arm.] Hey! Sorry, he, uh... did not want to let me leave.
[Sometimes, if your pet has you trapped, all you can do is take it with you.]
So, uh-- where did you wanna start, as far as talking books?
I apologize if this is an interruption, but do you know what the symptoms of apoplexy are?
Edited 2022-04-26 02:45 (UTC)
Then the things written there are not the products of an apopletic incident.
[Y'know, that common stroke symptom where you hallucinate that the man you're dating and a few other people besides start waxing poetic about how attractive you are.]
That is to say, yes.
[Y'know, that common stroke symptom where you hallucinate that the man you're dating and a few other people besides start waxing poetic about how attractive you are.]
That is to say, yes.
Nevertheless, I find it difficult to reconcile with what I know of myself.
[Hmm. Yeah, that's not a surprising response - same as when they were in the garden.]
So... I actually want to pick at part of that a bit, if you don't mind?
You say it's what you know of yourself, but I want to ask how it is particularly that you "know" that you aren't attractive?
So... I actually want to pick at part of that a bit, if you don't mind?
You say it's what you know of yourself, but I want to ask how it is particularly that you "know" that you aren't attractive?
I have been told as much, and the reactions of others have frequently confirmed it.
If it will satisfy your curiosity, I have mostly been described as frightening, brutish, or cold. One of my classmates told me that though she was not frightened of me, she found my features to be aggressive. Children have cried upon seeing me. Mothers clutch their children when I walk by.
[So, y'know. There's that.]
I understand that the prejudices of the Faerghan people do me no favors in this arena, but all instances of someone finding me frightening cannot be contributed entirely to just that.
If it will satisfy your curiosity, I have mostly been described as frightening, brutish, or cold. One of my classmates told me that though she was not frightened of me, she found my features to be aggressive. Children have cried upon seeing me. Mothers clutch their children when I walk by.
[So, y'know. There's that.]
I understand that the prejudices of the Faerghan people do me no favors in this arena, but all instances of someone finding me frightening cannot be contributed entirely to just that.
I mean, sure - statistically there would probably be some number of people who would be intimidated by you anyway, just because you're a big guy who doesn't take it upon himself to look cheerful and approachable and crap. But that doesn't make you unattractive, either.
But also, genuinely, every example you've given here just... sounds to me like racism. Whether the speaker knew it or not. I mean, calling your appearance shit like "brutish" and "aggressive" is INCREDIBLY loaded; white people are constantly drawing associations like that between people of color's features and whatever garbage they want to associate with us. They decide we're lesser, and then they decide that our physical features are somehow *visual evidence* of that inferiority. Even if they're not acting out of deliberate malice, a Faerghan declaring your features unattractive or scary is never going to be a culturally neutral statement
Sorry, I didn't mean to type that much.
But also, genuinely, every example you've given here just... sounds to me like racism. Whether the speaker knew it or not. I mean, calling your appearance shit like "brutish" and "aggressive" is INCREDIBLY loaded; white people are constantly drawing associations like that between people of color's features and whatever garbage they want to associate with us. They decide we're lesser, and then they decide that our physical features are somehow *visual evidence* of that inferiority. Even if they're not acting out of deliberate malice, a Faerghan declaring your features unattractive or scary is never going to be a culturally neutral statement
Sorry, I didn't mean to type that much.
Do not apologize. You have words for things that I do not, and I am grateful to learn them.
It is true that many spoke to me with deliberate malice. Some are merely ignorant, and while their ignorance is contemptible, I understand why they cling to their prejudices. The death of their king threw their lives into disarray. My people are easy culprits. The people of Faerghus wished to see a villain in our faces, and they have found what they sought.
However, even disregarding the prejudice against me in Faerghus, I do not possess features that are considered beautiful even outside of the Kingdom.
It is true that many spoke to me with deliberate malice. Some are merely ignorant, and while their ignorance is contemptible, I understand why they cling to their prejudices. The death of their king threw their lives into disarray. My people are easy culprits. The people of Faerghus wished to see a villain in our faces, and they have found what they sought.
However, even disregarding the prejudice against me in Faerghus, I do not possess features that are considered beautiful even outside of the Kingdom.
Fine facial features like His Highness’ or Sylvain’s are considered ideal. Hair color may be more of a personal preference than anything else, as I have heard admiration expressed both for Sylvain’s red hair and for Felix’s dark. Pale skin, of course.
Height is also attractive, in particular to Faerghans, though only until you start striking your head off of door frames.
My features are too coarse and my body built on too large of a scale to be generally attractive.
Height is also attractive, in particular to Faerghans, though only until you start striking your head off of door frames.
My features are too coarse and my body built on too large of a scale to be generally attractive.
Right. That sounds very similar to the mainstream beauty standards in America, where I'm from - which came in turn from Europe, a continent that colonized America, and, from what I've gathered seems pretty similar to Fodlan.
There's an issue we talk about in my world involving "Eurocentric" beauty standards - ideas of what is attractive or appealing that are based on European/white features and cultural standards, and treat those standards as the default, or "normal" idea of what is attractive.
All this to say, I suspect Fodlan has much the same problem. Even outside of Faerghus, outside of the issue of more overt forms of racism, most people there will have learned a very specific standard for what is "attractive". They may consider features "coarse" that people outside Fodlan - and a handful of those within the continent whose standards aren't quite so steeped in the cultural hegemony - would see as sturdy and well-defined.
There's an issue we talk about in my world involving "Eurocentric" beauty standards - ideas of what is attractive or appealing that are based on European/white features and cultural standards, and treat those standards as the default, or "normal" idea of what is attractive.
All this to say, I suspect Fodlan has much the same problem. Even outside of Faerghus, outside of the issue of more overt forms of racism, most people there will have learned a very specific standard for what is "attractive". They may consider features "coarse" that people outside Fodlan - and a handful of those within the continent whose standards aren't quite so steeped in the cultural hegemony - would see as sturdy and well-defined.
Re: let's go to action(unless you want to handwave since this one took ME nearly a month, wheezeba)!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
crumbs_and_yums
2022-05-08 05:00 pm (UTC)(link)
[Annette smiles excitedly at Grant's entrance, and of course has a grin to spare for the Wooper in tow.]
Hi Grant, and thank you, kind Wooper, for sharing him. Where to begin...
Hm, what sort of books do you usually read, I guess? I mostly read texts and nonfiction of all kinds, though I'm trying to expand into fiction a little. Like historical fiction, which is both weird and interesting in a world with so many different histories that I don't know anything about!
What about you?
Hi Grant, and thank you, kind Wooper, for sharing him. Where to begin...
Hm, what sort of books do you usually read, I guess? I mostly read texts and nonfiction of all kinds, though I'm trying to expand into fiction a little. Like historical fiction, which is both weird and interesting in a world with so many different histories that I don't know anything about!
What about you?
I suppose it is reasonable to assume that I may not be viewed so unfavorably among my own people, though I cannot say that I have asked. When I was with them, I was more concerned with healing from my injuries enough to return to His Highness than with something so superficial.
It is still strange, though, to think that my features are not so unpleasant as I have been led to believe. It is also difficult to argue with what has been posted openly in a public forum. The praise is effusive.
[Definitely not just being kind and trying to console him that his face really isn't that scary. Actual praise as though he should have been able to look into a mirror all this time and know that the face looking back at him is somehow... handsome?]
Though if what you have said is true, is it not strange that Lorenz and His Highness share that opinion? They would have both been raised to view faces like mine as unattractive, His Highness in particular.
It is still strange, though, to think that my features are not so unpleasant as I have been led to believe. It is also difficult to argue with what has been posted openly in a public forum. The praise is effusive.
[Definitely not just being kind and trying to console him that his face really isn't that scary. Actual praise as though he should have been able to look into a mirror all this time and know that the face looking back at him is somehow... handsome?]
Though if what you have said is true, is it not strange that Lorenz and His Highness share that opinion? They would have both been raised to view faces like mine as unattractive, His Highness in particular.
[The Wooper gives a little woop of appreciation. Thank you for acknowledging his sacrifice.]
Well, let's see... I do like a lot of nonfiction, too! I'd definitely be interested in seeing what kinds of sociology books this place has... oh, and archaeology, too, given their different histories, like you said!
I used to read a lot of historical fiction, too, though less these days... oh, and romance novels. ...Those can be kinda hit or miss, back home, but... I actually wonder if I might have better luck with them, here. [Y'know, given this world's... vastly more accepting apparent social norms.]
Well, let's see... I do like a lot of nonfiction, too! I'd definitely be interested in seeing what kinds of sociology books this place has... oh, and archaeology, too, given their different histories, like you said!
I used to read a lot of historical fiction, too, though less these days... oh, and romance novels. ...Those can be kinda hit or miss, back home, but... I actually wonder if I might have better luck with them, here. [Y'know, given this world's... vastly more accepting apparent social norms.]
Yeah, that's pretty fair. Not exactly the first thing that'd be on your mind.
Oh, yeah, it's bound to take some getting used to when you're new to being told that - but you're right, the praise *is* effusive, and it *should* be difficult to argue with, because it's true. :)
Depends. It could be called "strange" in the sense of being unusual, sure - but there's always a degree of subjectivity to this stuff. Sometimes individual preferences break through what someone's been told they *should* think; on top of that, Dimitri has known you for a really long time, hasn't he? Almost half your lives. So for all that time his culture was telling him to see your features as "other", his seeing you every day, knowing you personally, could have combatted that.
Oh, yeah, it's bound to take some getting used to when you're new to being told that - but you're right, the praise *is* effusive, and it *should* be difficult to argue with, because it's true. :)
Depends. It could be called "strange" in the sense of being unusual, sure - but there's always a degree of subjectivity to this stuff. Sometimes individual preferences break through what someone's been told they *should* think; on top of that, Dimitri has known you for a really long time, hasn't he? Almost half your lives. So for all that time his culture was telling him to see your features as "other", his seeing you every day, knowing you personally, could have combatted that.
Than it is a matter of familiarity, rather than structure?
[He supposes there is some sense to that. Dedue has been loyal, and Dimitri thus learned when they were young to see past the otherness of his features and knows that his face is not one to be frightened of. He knows that regardless of what his countrymen tell him. Lorenz is still an outlier with no solid explanation, though.]
I suppose that it matters little, however. For as long as I am in Faerghus, I will be judged based on their standards, even if it is not fair to do so. I should not anticipate anything else.
[So, y'know. What he'd been doing.]
[He supposes there is some sense to that. Dedue has been loyal, and Dimitri thus learned when they were young to see past the otherness of his features and knows that his face is not one to be frightened of. He knows that regardless of what his countrymen tell him. Lorenz is still an outlier with no solid explanation, though.]
I suppose that it matters little, however. For as long as I am in Faerghus, I will be judged based on their standards, even if it is not fair to do so. I should not anticipate anything else.
[So, y'know. What he'd been doing.]
[...He doesn't know about how Dedue phrased that.]
It's both.
I see what you mean there - but it could be good for you, all the same, to bear in mind that those standards aren't objective. That Faerghus saying one thing about you doesn't mean it's true.
Besides, now you're not *in* Faerghus. Do you think you could try and adjust how you look at this stuff while you're here?
It's both.
I see what you mean there - but it could be good for you, all the same, to bear in mind that those standards aren't objective. That Faerghus saying one thing about you doesn't mean it's true.
Besides, now you're not *in* Faerghus. Do you think you could try and adjust how you look at this stuff while you're here?
Sometime after the festival, the house will be visited by a deliver Pidgey bearing an envelope. Inside is a single note and three friendship bracelets: one with amber thread, one with royal, and one with deep indigo, all woven with the same pale pink as Allura's markings.
Dear Grant, Felix, and Dimitri,
I woke up with this under my pillow last night. Keith tells me this is called a "friendship bracelet," and I have a feeling these three belong to you. Thank you all so much for your kindness, generosity, and candor, and I look forward to seeing our friendship grow... and for the chance to win gold against such skilled opponents in future contests.
With Deepest Gratitude,
Allura
Dear Grant, Felix, and Dimitri,
I woke up with this under my pillow last night. Keith tells me this is called a "friendship bracelet," and I have a feeling these three belong to you. Thank you all so much for your kindness, generosity, and candor, and I look forward to seeing our friendship grow... and for the chance to win gold against such skilled opponents in future contests.
With Deepest Gratitude,
Allura
Perhaps.
[Big ask, Grant, but he'll at least try to remember that most people wouldn't look at him and see a man who's kin to regicides.]
I am, at least, glad to know that I may not be so frightening to people here as I was in Faerghus. I did not enjoy children's reactions to me, nor their parents' reprisals, but I had few ways to ease their fears.
[Big ask, Grant, but he'll at least try to remember that most people wouldn't look at him and see a man who's kin to regicides.]
I am, at least, glad to know that I may not be so frightening to people here as I was in Faerghus. I did not enjoy children's reactions to me, nor their parents' reprisals, but I had few ways to ease their fears.
Yeah, I get that. I imagine it wasn't near as bad on my end as yours, but having people treat you like a threat just based on how you look, and knowing there's no way to reassure them, just... really sucks. But people here definitely seem better about that.
Indeed. I have not had cobblestones thrown at me in nearly a year. It has been an unexpected luxury.
[Somehow, the more people learn about Faerghus, the more reasons they have to not go to Faerghus.]
[Somehow, the more people learn about Faerghus, the more reasons they have to not go to Faerghus.]
Page 20 of 24